If you ask…. why. Why him, why not you. Why is he the only person from my past whom I allow in my present life. Why I’m staying, why ain’t I leaving. Why don’t I keep my distance with this one as how I do to others. Why am I still close with him even when I say I’ve changed for good. Why not you, when you’ve got killer looks, killer mind, killer whatnots. Why this, why that. Ikhtilat, hypocrite, yada yada yada.
Then you should know…
It’s him who got me to change.
It’s him who’s still there when I did change.
It’s him who gave me second, third, fourth, countless chances when I screwed real bad.
Because every time he sees me, he makes sure I bring my mother with me.
Which mother (and daughter) wouldn’t respect such kind of guy?
Because he believed in me when other’s don’t.
Because he still does.
Because he stayed when others left.
Because he’s still here.
Through my physical illnesses.
Through my emotional illnesses.
Through my insecurities.
Through my bulimia.
Through my suicide attempts.
Because he persisted through my worst self.
Because he keeps me in his prayers.
Because his patience is limitless.
Because when the doctor told me I might not be able to conceive, he’s dead firm with his I’m still marrying you regardless.
Because he’s him.
So if preachers ask me to leave, then my apologies.
So if guys ask me to give them a chance, then my apologies.
But I’m staying. Through thick or thicker, thin or thinner – I’m staying.
Because for everything he’s been… I can’t help loving him.